Adulting is more complex than anything I could have imagained.
Adulting is hard! Am I right? Why were we in such a hurry to grow up? There are some benefits to being an adult, but YO, for the most part, this is for the birds (on the surface).
Taxes, responsibilities, and bills, lots and lots of bills. None of the curricula in high school or college educate you on how to manage money unless this was your major.
The consensus about being an adult is that money rules most of your existence. I can not unpack this in this post, nor do I feel educated enough to do so.
I can, however, speak to the adults I have coached or massaged over two decades. Rare is a client who isn’t/wasn’t affected by the pressure of being a responsible adult.
There was a song, “Mama Used to Say”, which talked about slowing down the growing up process.
‘Take your time young man. don’t you rush to get old. Take it in your stride. Live your life.’
I used to belt this song out, but I couldn’t wait to be a grown-up. Hindsight is 20/20. All the responsibility feels heavy instead of freeing.
Every adult in my life including my parents would succinctly inform me not to rush growing up and in truth, it would have scarred my little heart to know all that comes with being an adult.
Adulting is mundane, very routine with no end in sight, what up wit that?
Did we actually sign up for this? like willingly? It often it feels like a pressure cooker. You ask yourself, ‘How can I do this again tomorrow?’
We are creatures of habit and we are committed to doing the things that are easy and fast. There is a level of (imagined or real) pain or discomfort when you entertain the thought of doing something different, no matter what it is. We get stuck in our heads and now this new thing becomes something nice to have, but not attainable ‘right now’, it gets pushed to the back burner.
For the most part, being an adult means making decisions based on the variables placed before you. To mitigate risk and time, pitted against one another, but the questions of ‘where and when can I have more pleasure, more fun, and delight without feeling guilty?’ play with your emotions.
It seems like we only allow ourselves to have fun or celebrate on birthdays, holidays or anniversaries.
What if we are willing to make different choices to go past the status quo and pay attention for attention’s sake? We would feel more alive, conscious and living in the present moment.
I hope that you begin to consider how to add things that add joy to your life. I am so passionate about this topic because I watched my mother’s dreams die with her.
She was a responsible adult. She celebrated on queue and colored inside the lines. She died at 50. Just as her children were about to leave the nest, she and my father rekindled their beautiful romance and six weeks into her 50th year, she was gone.
This is not for you to feel sorry for me. I have gone to therapy and continue to get coaching to reach for the biggest life my arms can hold. THIS is for you to take a page from my mother’s book or insert whoever is important to you and not wait because life is truly not promised. And yet, with some intention you can have more.
This post is not anecdotal, rather it begs you to ask the questions of how to enhance your life, not dread your existing days and live like you mean it.
I only have questions on this one, because every person desires different things in their lives. The commonalities are plenty but the pictures are different. What picture will you craft on purpose rather than default?
If you don’t think it will get better, you are right.
If you think it will get better, you are right.
What are you choosing to create? Be on purpose, dream a dream for your life AS an adult, so that you have moments to look forward to that are not just limited to the holidays or anniversaries on your calendar.